


Throught it all.

by GlassOrchid



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:33:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassOrchid/pseuds/GlassOrchid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story takes you from the start of Dragon Age: Inquisition to way past the end. With some flash back to the past thrown in for fun. I have yet to decide if Trayalyn Lavellan will fall for Solas or Cullen so you will have to just wait and see.   Not every event in DA:Inquisition will be covered, and a lot of it will be exchanges between characters of my own creating to add to the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The very Start.

**Author's Note:**

> I am very new to writing fandoms, so for that I apologize. This will be my first one I have ever written using somebody else characters. So all the advise and criticism you have will be taken to heart as I hope to make each chapter better than the last. 
> 
> This chapter is her getting to meet some of the key players. Their will be some light spoilers here and there but I will warn before a chapter if they are there.

Solas found himself curious, almost like a small child. Had she really been where he only dreamed off? He forced himself to focus, knowing if he did not she would surely die and he would be no closer to the answers. She was shifting from unconsciousness to sleep, this to him was a good sign. He sighed, as he studied her. In this room the world outside seemed distant, yet he could not forget the udder chaos that was taking over the land.

She moved from perfectly flat to pull her legs up, bent tightly at the knee, to cover her chest. Her left had lay next to her head, he could see calluses on her finger tips no doubt from having pulled a bow string more than her fair share of times. In the palm of that hand was the light, it smelled of the fade. She moved her right arm to curl around her head it was thin and elegant even in her thick leather of her armor. Her right hand was covered in calluses as well, if he had to guess she was fond of a set of daggers. You can learn a lot from the way a person sleeps, he walked around the cot with his head tilted. Some one had made her fearful, night after night. She did what she must to protect herself, her body flinched with the pain he was sure the mark caused as the rifts grew but never did she whimper.

Solas wanted just a few more minute to study the other elf, knowing that Cassandra would interrogate her as soon as he sent word that she was merely sleeping now. Her skin was pale, as was her vallaslin, this made him wonder if she was a proud, stubborn, and ignorant as all the Dalish seamed to be. Her hair however was bright like autumn leaves in the sun, it was pulled back but he could see hidden waves of auburn and amber, not a common color for elves. He found her face to be shaped well, her lips were supple and a rosy pink. Her cheek bones were high and sloped nicely into her small chin and jaw. She was slender even for an elf, her body was long and lean built almost like it was made for fighting. Their was both a fierceness and gentleness to her soul that showed in her body. He had to learn more. Something about her was drawing him in, almost in the way the fade had.

He let the messenger go to Cassandra, who had the girl brought to a cell. Two large men carried her by her shoulders to the cell, as she fought to enter the world of the awake. She was placed on her knees, held up by her arms for a moment as she succeeded . She saw the bars to all sides of her just as Cassandra threw open the door. She was listening to what they were saying, she answered the best she could. All she could see in her mind was all the people, there must have been a few hundred people gathered at the conclave. Her body still ached, but she had expected more pain. Somebody had healed her, she made a mental note to thank them later. IF there was a later for her.

She had simply went based on her keepers request, the war between the Mages and Templars was something everyone had to worry about. They were getting closer to her clans camps, this keep her clan now on the move. They had been attacked by both sides, and now moved to avoid interactions with them. This made hunting harder, and kept them from where they normally lived at this time of year. She wanted to help with the peace, she had always been the type to see the good in everyone and think before she spoke. The keeper knew she was the one to send.

She found herself in shock when she was lead outside, looking to the sky she saw it. The breach, it sent an odd feeling through her body. Almost like an electric tingle, she wondered if this is what a mage felt before shooting a blast of lightening. She shook her head, she had never been blessed with the gift of magic. She watched as the sky grew more angry looking and the rift spread. It sent the largest wave of pain through her body yet. She hadn't even realized she hit the ground, until Cassandra lifted her back to her feet. They were quickly on their way up to the forward camp.

As they ran across the bridge a thrown bolder tore it apart. She felt herself falling from the wreckage and the thick force of the ground. She had been lucky to find the two daggers in the crate that had toppled off the stone bridge with them. Maybe the gods were looking out for her today. She quickly armed herself and began to fight her way along side of Cassandra. Who grew agitated when Lavellan refused to disarm herself pointing out that she was going to be more helpful this way. She shivered in the cold as they moved their way up the step path, she was starting to get used to the searing pain that cut through her body as the rift grew. She couldn't shake the feeling of guilt having been the only one to live, and no memory of what happened.

It all happened so fast, the rift was small compared to the one in the sky, but demons still poured from in like ale from split casks. The next thing she knew Solas, had grabbed her arm thrusting her hand towards the sky. A strange tingle raced through her entire body as a light left her hand and traveled to the fade rift. With in a matter of seconds it was closed. She listened to the elf explain that her mark made her the key to their salvation. She looked to him, he was slightly taller then her, and had a voice that that somehow seemed to south something deep with in her. His words brought her crashing back to reality, great like she needed the pressure of the world counting on her. She took a deep breath and thought it best to well not think about it. She made small talk with Verric and Solas. Cassandra kept odd company a smug elf and a dwarf who was filled with sarcasm and wit. She wondered what they thought of her as they moved through the forward camp.

She followed Cassandra through the mountain path, wishing to help the lost soldiers. She hated the idea of letting good people get hurt if there was something she could do about it. However she was still confused on why her opinion was asked. She didn't think it was normal to ask the prisoner which way to go, even in times of war. Maybe shemlens have different ways of doing things. But she had better thing to do then ponder their odd customs in times of war. It got easier to concentrate after she had helped to save the lost squad. She felt the need to make up for all the lives lost at the conclave as if some how this was her fault.

Another small rift was closed on the way up to the temple, it was then she meet yet another knew face, this one two was handsome. His blonde hair had a slight curl to it, and his stubble fit him well. She found herself looking him over, his amber eyes looking tired. It was when he spoke he sunk her down further. More good men had died for her, she hated that. Hated herself for that. She would make this right. No one else would die for her. She felt the anger starting to bubble inside her and quickly forced it back down, she didn't care to feel angry. Finding it had no point, a clear head was always best, at least in her experience. She would not show her weakness to these people she was just meeting.

The temple was full of the angry red lyruim that sent shutters through her body as she walked around it. She heard Verric talk for just a moment about it. Before she heard her own voice come from the sky, after that everything was a blur. As most fights or even hunts were for her. It was like her body takes over and leaves her mind behind at times. The pride demon was rather large, and it took all her might to help her new companions take him down, and close the rift.

The next thing she knew was she was waking up in a strange bed. Well at least it was a bed this time. She watched a servant trip over her words before running from her presents. She couldn't help but wonder to herself if this would be her life now. Fighting and waking up in odd places with no memory of what happened in between. If so, she might as well start drinking now. Because it left her head spinning, and if she drank at least she could feel their was a reason for it. She knew she had to find Cassandra, as she stumbled through Haven. She stopped and looked up at the Chantry, it filled the center of the town...or was this place a keep with all its spiked walls. She shook her head clearing it of those useless thoughts. She looked around for the first time she realized everyone who had been so quick to condemn her was standing tall and doing something she only guessed meant showed some sign of respect her. She found her way into the war room finding Cassandra. She sighed, The Harold.

She found herself wondering around the town, where she ran into Solas. She quickly got herself lost in conversation with him. About his travels, his time in the fade, his knowledge, she found him to be interesting to say the least. It was then that she looked up as he called her the Harold. Her eyes were a honey brown, filled with flecks of gold and fiery red, they were large doe eyes. They showed pride and a kindness to them. "Trayalyn of Clan Lavellan. " She said softly, not as if annoyed but as if to inform him. "my name is Traya. " It wasn't a name that sounded Dalish, but he shrugged that off. She smiled, it didn't reach her eyes but did bring light to her face. He wondered at her age, as she looked young but spoke like one with an old soul. If he had to guess he would put her at maybe 20 years of age by looks. He could tell life had not been kind to her, and knew that often created a soul that grew fast then ones body.

Trayalyn wondered if she would ever hear anyone call her by her name again, or if she would ever return to her clan. She sighed, she had to make this right first. She knew it was going to be a long fight, and had except that at the end she may not come back, or at least the same person she was when she started. She caught Solas watching her, she had sighed maybe he expected her to say something. "Thank you for your time. I enjoyed getting a chance to talk with you." her own voice was almost soft, but never wavered. Like she held a tight grip on her control. She bowed to him slightly before she left his side, she took a deep breath, she would have Cassandra gather the team to head out in just a few moments. She had wasted enough time, she had a world to right.


	2. A glimpse at the person behind the title.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This starts after hushed whispers and continues to skyhold, I left things a little on the vague side to try and prevent too many spoilers.
> 
> A kiss and a challenge?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still working on building back ground as most of my ideas for this story happen later. It is starting to turn into where things pick up the pace.

Trayalyn eyes looked from one of her now friends to the other, she knew that no matter what choice she made somebody would be angry. It was something that had to be done, and she would rather that they were angry with her then each other. She looked up at them, to her the mages were the right choice, she thought of all the mages that fought with them already. Her eyes shifted from one to the other, studying how anger looked on their faces. Her own eyes held a hint of anger, yet her voice was steady and clam as it always was. "Would you kindly shut it. You knew when I left I was going to ask the mages for help if you disagreed then was the time to make such statements. Now what's done is done. We have a breach to close, and fighting amongst ourselves will do us no good."

They all knew what she said was true, as she took a deep breath Dorian nodded to her. He had a look on his face that said clearly that a girl. They had already been through so much, and it proved to her mages can be good with out the circle. And she was sure once this was over the rest of the world would have to agree. She waked into the war room looking proud, her eyes locking on Cullen's if but for a brief second. She fought back the urge to smile, his eyes smoldered with anger still. But he still looked to her the way he had after she closed the breach at the temple. Like she carried his hope, she knew that she carried everyone's hope.

She listened through strategies as everything went on and her smile grew. She like the feeling of being in control. And in the war room she was, she moved pieces carefully explaining why she felt this was the best course. No one ever argued, sometimes she wished they did as she always had one ready for ever course of action. She held tightly to her fears,and how much pressure this was putting on her. Telling herself she would suffer so others didn't have to. That made her feel alive, more alive then she ever thought possible.

When they had all come to agreement, she took a deep breath and walked out her head held high. Tomorrow she would seal the breach. But something new in her eyes, a glint of mischief. She soon found Sera and whispered something in her ears, the elf giggled. With in an hour Traya looked of another person, she wore one of the dresses that she had bought in Val Royal. Her hair had been darkened by Sera with some coal dust, she wore it down for once. It feel in perfect waves just barely brushing against her ass, completely covering her ears. The smile that spread on her lips was for once reaching her eyes. She lifted her dress and slide a small dagger into both of her boots. She shuttered at the feel of the cold metal against her skin, she loved that feeling. IT had been a long time, too long she told herself. Tonight she would let loose, tonight she would forget.

Sera was even more confused by the other elven girl then was normal. However, she liked this side of the herald. Showed Traya could be a real person. Not just some one you read about in stories.

Traya walked right passed Solas, she smiled at him. She was beyond great full that he friends were safe. How quickly she had found herself taken by the odd lot. Her odd lot, she reminded herself. She looked away from him quickly wondering if he would know who she was, now that her armor was off. She never wore her hair down, as on the battle field it could be used against her.

She walked into the tavern, her hair falling in front of the right side of her face to cover her markings. She hid her left hand under the ledge of the bar as she add spoke. Not in the in charge voice of the Herald, but her soft warm voice. She quickly got herself a drink, and reminded herself to drink it with her right hand. For a while she just listened, it was nice to hear what the soldiers thought of her choices. Even if some disagreed, okay most disagreed.

She found herself laughing with the men after a few drinks. Her laugh filled the room easily, it was soft and delicate, yet rich and full. They called her by name when she talked to them, oh how good it felt to have a name again. She was letting her guard down, only to be startled as she felt somebody sit next to her. She turned to see who it was, Solas. It was then she knew, he had know it was her from the moment she looked to him.

He spoke first, in that voice she loved hearing. The frightening voice from the future was still in the back of her head. "I'm glad your still with us. I thought I'd never see you again. That we had doomed this world by taking you there. " he was taking so no one else could hear. She studied his face, trying desperately to get the images of before out of her mind. She let her eyes linger on his, they were familiar to her. Then his lips, she found herself wondering how soft they were, and what they tasted like. She quickly forced her eyes to move on, fearful a blush would find its way to her face. She then saw his shoulders, broad compared to hers. But he was still slender like most elves. But she got the feeling from his arms she would feel safe. At that she stopped herself fearful of what her mind would think if she allowed her eyes to wander further.

Traya a sighed, not noticing how he took in every detail of her out of her armor much like the way she just had him. Her slender curves, and fair skin holding his attention more then he wanted to admit it. She was beautiful, and something drew him to her in a way he couldn't stop.

"I'm glad to be back, but I refuse to let that future come to pass. " Traya said with as much confidence as she could muster, today had been a long day. Or was it two days?

He swore for a brief second he heard her voice waver, as if for once she was allowing herself to feel. In that brief moment he came to a startling realization, the herald was a young woman. Not a thing, or a spirit, and far more than just her mark or title. He found himself curious to how old she was, and what made her the way she was. A thirst for knowledge that drove her to sit with him for hours and just listen to him talk, or with Varric as he taught her to read. Eyes that burned with passion, as she planned every attack. Not for who it would hurt and what it could help her gain but who she could help or save. Her compassion seamed to pour from every inch of her body. He had to know more.

She stood, this was no longer suiting it's purpose. She felt the fear clawing at her chest, the walls slowing moving closer to her. She fought hard to hold back the shaking feeling that was radiating through her entire body. She would not allow anyone to see her like this. She had learned the hard way emotions like this are best kept to yourself. Traya let her eyes lock with his for just a moment. "tomorrow will be a long day. We both should rest. " She sounded tired, she knew she did but she was happy to sound tired over frightened.

Solas sigh filled the air, he'd scared her off. There was so much more he wanted to learn about her . But every time he'd close to understanding her she would retreat. Sometimes from the room, others into the deep recess of her mind. What had driven her to such tight control?

Traya had a bucket of warm water that she took with to the side of the chantry, she dunked her hair in scrubbing out the coal with a ferocity that caused her pain. Pain and her were friends, it allowed her to block out emotions on the outside. She took slow deep breaths as she regained her composure. She knew for the men's sake she had to be strong in her convictions. Tomorrow would be the most important thing she had ever done in her life. At least so far.

A cold wind blew, sending shivers through her body. She quickly made her way into the chantry, quietly shutting the door behind her. She had been a huntress in her clan, if she had wanted she could move around the whole city with out a single soul knowing where she was. She found a seat where she pulled her legs under herself as she began to rebind her hair in a way that made it appear much shorter. Her fingers tugged through it, pulling the knots out of each curl.

Traya heard the footsteps as they approached. She herself hopeful that he wouldn't come and sit next to her. She had often found excuses to talk to both Solas and the Commander. But tonight she had just wanted forget, by the maker or the gods she wasn't sure which anymore. She just wanted to forget. She had made the mistake of asking about the commander in the future. She took a deep breath once again forcing down how she felt.

 He sat next to her, but didn't say a word. She waited, not sure what to think. When she dared to look at him, she saw he was praying. She waited for him to finish. "Are you really that angry with me? " she felt her hand slap over her mouth. How could she have let her thought slip? Was it the few cups of ale, or just exhaustion that had won out. She let her hand drop into her lap, noticing that she was still in her dress and not armor for the first time. She let her head fall back, her eyes focused on the ceiling for just a few moments.

"I'm not angry. I'm fearful. " he said softly, still not turning to look at her. "I take it you are as well. Why else would we be up at the ungodly hour? "

She looked up at him, sometimes he made her feel like a child. Traya often wondered if her new companions thought of her that way. She was but 25. Not that she looked it, elves aged well, but she had looked the same as the day she got her vallaslin. It had been nearly ten years. She then wondered how his stubble would feel under her finger tips. She would protect them all, she had to. It hurt to much to even think that anything would happen to them. Her heart was torn, it was growing to care for them both. Had the Commander not have been sitting next to her, she would have made use of the wall to try and knock some sense back into her head. She reminded herself she was an elf, not a human. What would the commander want with her.

She found herself lost in thought, she had left the war room with a plan of how to spend her evening. none of this fit it, she had thought by now she be in a well dissevered, ale induced asleep. She was going to blend in learn about how people saw her. That much she had accomplished, but found it way more sobering then expected. Even Sera was upset about the mages.

She realized then he was still waiting for her reply, a soft blush pushed its way onto her cheeks. "I just have a lot on my mind. "she was being honest. It was her thoughts that kept her up, kept her lost in the sea of feeling she had locked in her mind. Plus a touch of fear, she knew if she were to sleep now she would dream of that future. Not the future she was desperate to make.

Some how or another they got onto the topic of strategy. One she welcome. She wasn't sure when, but soon sleep claimed her. It was a dreamless sleep. Her chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. Cullen carefully covered her in a warm blanket and let her sleep. He had noticed the dark circles under her eyes the day before at the war table, he could see that she fought sleep just as hard as she fought anything.

Out of her armor he thought of her as delicate and something to be protected. It was an odd feeling for him as she spent so much time keeping them safe. The world safe, he knew how heave a burden it was on his shoulders, and could only image how it sat on hers. He at least had chosen this path, for her it was thrust upon her. Who was she before this happened, he often wondered that.

 

Morning came to quickly,the entire day went by to quickly she thought to herself as she slowly moved through the dense snow. She was freezing, she would have wore different armor had she known this was how she would spend her night. She was thankful everyone else had made their way out, she couldn't bare to think about those she had failed to help. She found each breath painful, the cold air burned her lungs as she forced herself forward. Each step more painful then the last, each breath more shallow. She saw what looked like remnants of a fire. She was on the right path, thank the gods.

Traya felt her shivers turn into shakes, her breaths into gasps, and her eyes sight was beginning to fail. She would laugh if she could catch her breath, she had fought magisters, demons, giants, rifts in the fade, the elder one, and possibly an archdemon and what kills her... a bit of cold weather. The next fire she passes still has embers, she feels hope flicker for a moment. As she swears she hears Cullens voice before collapsing into the snow.

 

Cullen who had been worried nearly to death about the herald lifts her slowly into his arms. He can see her chest struggling to move with each breath, her skin is cold and wind burnt. But she is alive, and he is thankful for that. The search party rush her back to the camp covering her in warm blankets and placing her on a cot close to the fire. He looked to a healer who was looking her over and healing some minor wounds. As for the cold she would have to wait that out. Both he and Solas watched over her for a while. Neither saying a word to the other.

Traya wanted to scream in her own head, her body was racked with pain. Every inch felt like a thousand tiny cuts were being made again and again. Her body was regaining feeling, as her breaths grew deeper. Her bones ached as they warmed, never again would she take warmth for grated. She had learned her lesson. It was then that voices echoed in her head, at first she couldn't make them out. But soon she knew exactly what they were. Her team, they were as usual fighting amongst themselves. She slowly sat up, as the sister advised her to rest. However, she couldn't let them fall apart. She stood, shakily at best and took but a few steps. She wasn't back to her old self yet. Would they even listen. It was then that the sister did something strange. She sang, the whole bloody camp sang. If she had known the words she would have joined them.

 

It was then that Solas approached her, she found herself weakly smiling at him as he spoke. "I have something to show you, when your up for it." his voice had hints of concern in it.  He fought the urge to reach out and hold her close to him. He had thought for the second time in just as many days that he had lost her. It tugged at his heart, something he thought had died long ago. 

 

 

It took the camp a few days to reach Skyhold, Solas had once again stepped in at just the right moment. Traya lead them in, helping to clear the way, inside the walls it was almost warm. She was grateful to have the walls block out the wind, as well as the defense they offered. If anyone was to come to them now they would see them. Every day the numbers in skyhold grew. With that, a new title for Trayalyn. Inquisitor. She sighed, it didn't seem she would get her own name back any time.

Cullen had spoken with her first about guard rotations and everything else, before they both took a turn stumbling over their words. She smiled at him, had they just been friends and not in the midst of this war she would have hugged him. Yet if that were the case their would have been no need. Would she even know him? She said goodbye with a smile.

She found her way to Solas room, she was desperate to let her mind linger on something that didn't impact the world. Something she wanted to do for herself. She sat on the edge of his desk careful not to bump anything."Solas, will you tell me more about yourself, about your journeys?"

 

Haven, she couldn't remember how she got here. But she listened careful to every word he said, her eyes locked on his blue gray eyes. His words sank into her and she found herself doing something she never saw coming. She kissed him, it was brief, and wonderful. It sent tingles down her body, but good ones. Not like when she closed a rift and it shot odd sensations throughout her body. He gently grabbed her arms and pulled her back, before she knew what had happened he was kissing her again. This time it was less sweet and gentle, but she felt his soft lips against her own. Her hand moved as if on its own to the back of his head, she didn't want this moment to end. He pulled away for just one moment  she wasn't sure if it was to catch his breath or look at her.

The last kiss was shorter, as if something brought him crashing back down to reality. "We shouldn't,it's not right, not even hear."

As she bolted up right in her bed, his hushed whisper sent shutters through her body. She had always loved his voice, but when he whispered it did something to her. Sent shivers down her spine. She brought her hand to her lips as she fell back against her pillow. The fade, a dream. Had he really been with her in her dream or was she dreaming of him, she let her mind spin. Half tempted to go to him now, to wake him up and chastise him for teasing her in such a way. But if he hadn't been there then she would look a fool. She swore her lips felt warm, she remembered the feel of him close to her. Now how was she to sleep, she thought it be hard but the idea of dreaming of him quickly sent her back to sleep. 

 

She was more confused after talking with Solas in the morning then before she had, at least now she knew he had come to see her in her dream. That she wasn't going crazy that it was real. But he didn't know if he wanted to be with her? Maybe, yes, let me think. By the gods this man needed to make up his mind. She shook it off and gave him his time. Even if she was desperate to find out if he kissed as good outside the fade. Curious to what he meant when he said he was always better there.  She turned to him with a smile, her eyes shinning as she spoke. "Your welcome in my dreams any time Solas." At that she left curious to see if he would take the bait. And bring her more peaceful nights.

 


	3. A stolen moment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen learns more about our inquisitor. And Solas steals a moment of her time.

Traya nodded as she talked strategy with Cullen. "I don't think we should take any of the mages with us." This took Cullen by surprise, for lately it had seamed she wouldn't leave skyhold with out Solas by her side. He studied her carefully waiting for her to continue she always had a reason. "We are going up against tempars, and they can neutralize magic. So not only would they not be able to fight, they could get hurt. " She hated the idea of any of her friends being thrown into harms way to get what she wanted.

Cullen thought on it for a moment, she could always tell when he was deep in thought. He stood just a bit taller and his hands went to his sword pommel. She lifted her eyes to watch his, a soft smile on her lips. She was grateful they were friends, and that he trust her enough to travel with her. Now that she thought about it, this was the first time they would be traveling together in a small group. He looked back at her and nodded."I think your right, but that being said who should come with us?"

"Well that is a good question. I think Varric and Sera, they are both excellent with the bow. Plus they could stand back, as templars tend to be heavy handed with the swords. An element of surprise is always a good idea. " she nodded happy with the way it was falling together. "Oh and Iron Bull. Because lets face it, his weapon is bigger then I am, and bound to do some damage to even the heaviest of armor. " She watched him as he paced the room in the same fashion as he did in the war room. She had once pointed out that she didn't think he could hold still if he was tied to his chair. But she wasn't any better, she took a deep breath. "Then lets get going. I'd rather not waste time waiting for him to figure out our plan of attack. "

 

Solas caught her by the stables. "I don't like this, what if you get hurt?" he asked, trying to prove he could be useful.

Traya smiled at him, it was a knowing smile. "I'll be fine, I always am. " she then took a deep breath, she thought about kissing him. The way she had in the fade, but then she remembered his study. His words cutting through her, he wasn't sure about her. Even now, he hadn't made a move to say she was his or he was hers. She could feel her smile fading at her train of thought. She had planned to say more but now the words escaped her reach, she simply nodded before mounting a heart. She much preferred them over the horses, and people often joked about how they made her appear that much smaller, yet more intimidating. At that she rode off to catch up to her companions.

Solas wondered if that is how she felt, when he left things unsaid, it left a sinking feeling in his stomach. He thought about going after them but knew it would only make her angry. He sulked back to his circular room to begin painting an unfinished wall.

 

The first night at camp Traya walked over to Cullen a smile on her face. "What do you say to a game of chess. " she knew the game relaxed him and he was facing his past in a few days. She sat down crossing her legs under herself, as the fire light danced across her pale skin. He found himself curious to how her skin felt, or would taste. He shook the thoughts clear. 

Cullen found himself lost in her bright eyes for just a moment, as they mirrored the fire. The rich red and oranges that swirled through her golden brown eyes always seemed to burn with passion. He took a deep breath, remind herself she belonged to another. He wanted her for his own, he knew it was selfish but something in her stirred something in his heart long forgotten. "I think I can handle a game." With every move he got more lost in her, and what she was saying. She was talking with him, about herself. He loved that she was letting him in. Even if they were small things, he stored them away. 

She was relaxed at camp, in a way he had never seen her before. He wondered if the walls bothered her, being dalish she hadn't grown up with so many of them. She had once stated she preferred a bed roll to a bed because it reminded her of home. Here in the middle of the forest she came alive.

Varric sat with Bull watching them out of the corner of his eye, Sera had long ago disappeared into her tent. He spoke in hushed tones, even though he knew the other two were lost in their own conversation. "He would be so much better for her. I don't know that I trust chuckles. "

Bull sighed. "Boss can take care of herself. Just let her be happy, she deserves to be happy." he didn't have to say but Verric knew if either man was to hurt her, Bull would hurt them. Traya had this way about her, to know her was to love her. In some sense of the way, she had this spirit that you couldn't break. No matter how bad things got, she found the good. In situations and people, it had been hard for her to order her first execution. Varric had gotten a drink with her after words and swore he saw a tear slide down her cheek. Emotions, other then happiness were something she kept to herself. Locked deep inside, he knew some day that door would break. Compared to those away right now, she was but a child. Her happiness never reached her eyes, he knew Bull was right about that.

 

Traya cared for Cullen, much like one would an older brother. Had she thought she he could see her as more then a child, and an elf things may have been different. She found him attractive, and kind. If things were different, she could love him as a lover. But she could see, he needed to save somebody in order to save himself. And right now she wasn't ready to be saved.

 Traya smiled as Cullen won. "I need to get better at this game. " she said softly, as she stood and stretched. "We had better sleep we have another day of travel ahead of us tomorrow." she wondered off to where her tent was. This to her felt like home, she much preferred a bed roll to her large bed. It was so empty and reminded her how alone she truly felt. Nights had always been difficult for her, another way her past haunted her.

It took another day before they arrived at where they expected the red tempars to be, as she stepped over a fallen piece of stone. She slowly looked around, it made her wonder if somebody else had beat them hear. The stone was crumbling, and parts of the buildings were on fire. She had been careful, stayed hidden for most of the battle, attacks were always well planned and executed. Well all but one, and no one saw. She felt the all too familiar sting of a blade cutting through skin. She didn't even whimper, her next strike killed the mad who managed to get a small hit on her.

She watched another man die, one she didn't know but still another death that was meaningless. She carefully took a deep breath telling Cullen they would give him a proper funeral. He had not attacked them, and all they wanted was to ask him a few things. She had searched the building carefully finding a few clues. They made their way back to camp, she wanted to get back to skyhold. She gave the orders and they began to move back towards home. She knew they would need to make camp before long, but any distance between her and the place they had just been was welcomed.

She rode her hart, as gracefully as ever. More then thankful she had rode here instead of walked. Her legs were aching, and her body felt as if it was betraying her. She shrugged it off as being over worked. She slid off her mount as camp was being set up, she had watched Cullen ride in silence for most of the ride. She walked over to him slowly placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry we couldn't save him." She knew he had made the choice himself and there had been nothing either one of them could do. Culen just nodded, still angry more then anything. "If you ever need to talk, you know were to find me." She found her way to her bed roll exhausted.

Solas felt a longing he didn't know he could feel, he often felt like this when he stayed away from the fade this long but never for a person. He was angry with himself, he knew he was falling for her. She was like no one he had ever known before. But this was unfair to them both, but how he wanted to run his fingers through her hair, and hold her tight to him. He'd let himself fall asleep thinking of how soft her skin would feel, and soon found his way into her dream.

Trayalyn was much younger, this must have been a dream of remembrance. He started to feel guilty, but he couldn't help himself. Her hair was cut short like a boys would be, an angry woman sat across from her. Fear lingered in Traya eyes, as the woman spat words at her. "Do you understand me?" she asked before continuing. "your a dirty child that no one loves." he could see the words cut through the young inquisitor. "No one will ever love you, you are less than nothing."

Traya spoke softly not looking to the woman. "Yes mother." she held back emotion but he could feel her sadness her pain. He had to change this dream. This was to much something he shouldn't see. He carefully began to think of something she would like.

The fade began to spin, changing her dream. He let her mind shape it just guiding it slightly. He watched her grow before his eyes, her hair long and free blowing in the wind. Her eyes were closed as she looked to the heavens. He heard her words as they sent shudders through his body. Words he never thought to hear. "Oh dread wolf, guide me." she had always felt connected to that god, of all of them. She was misunderstood, she had dreams as a child that made the keeper think she would come into magic. But it never came, she was a black sheep. That is how she saw the dread wolf. Misunderstood.

She let her shoulders relax as she stepped into the small pound. She wasn't in armor, this to her must be a safe place. He walked up slowly behind her, he wrapped his arms around her. She smiled his name left her lips softly, she was a hunter she knew the sound of his steps. "Solas." he ran his hands over her arms slowly, not saying a word. He turned her in his arms, he stood just slightly taller then her his eyes locking with hers. They held years of mystery in their gray blue splendor. She reached up slowly to touch his face. Her fingers slowly trailed over his cheek, they barely brushed the skin like a soft summer wind. Her eyes never left his, as if she needed this more then he.

She then let her fingers trail from his cheek to his chin and down his neck, she then let her fingers roam over the back of his head. He could see it in her eyes, she wished he had hair just so she could wrap it around her fingers. Use it to pull him to her. He let his own hand trail from her shoulders, down her back to find the small of it. He pulled her tight to him. He was amazed at just how perfect she fit against him.

He felt himself being pulled in more, like he was under her spell. He let his forehead touch hers for a brief moment, before watching her tilt her head. His lips found hers, with all the longing that was in him. He kissed her, softly at first. Before he found himself losing the hold he had on himself. He felt his own fingers travel into her hair as he cupped her hair. She gasped, he would have smiled had he not seen his opening. He let his tongue gently run along her bottom lip, before finding hers. She tasted sweet like honey. 

 

Then she was gone, he was left in her safe place alone. He could only think she had woken up. He cursed under his breath as he looked around. He wondered were this was, a clearing with  trees that surrounded a small lake, with a waterfall feeding it. This place was hers, and he knew then. She had to be his. 

 

Traya was sitting up, cursing whatever was outside her tent that had brought her back from the fade. Her dream had been pleasant, and she wasn't ready for it to be over. She stood up and walked out to find Varric shooing away an august ram that had stumbled into their camp. The sun was just starting to rise."We should wake the others, we could make it to Skyhold by tonight if we leave now." 

 

Varric wondered why the sudden urge to get home, overtook the urge to sleep for the inquisitor but he let it go. He roused the camp and soon they were on their way. It took longer then expected, as they made it to skyhold late into the night. She quietly moved through the stone halls up to her quarters, happy to take off her armor she heated water above her fire to fill the wooden tub she had  pulled near the fire. She carefully brought up buckets of water to fill the tub with enough cold when she tipped the large put above the fire it would be comfortable.

 

She sunk into the warm water, scrubbing the blood off her skin with soap that smelled of royal elvenroot. She winced when she got to a spot just above her hip, remember then for the first time the cut of the blade. She looked at it, it looked red and angry. She reminded herself to see a healer in the morning, as she stepped out of the tub letting the fire dry her she carefully dressed for bed already missing the comfort of a bed roll.

 

In the morning she paced the room reading the letter that had been left on her desk. She felt odd, almost weak. She looked up, maybe she should stop putting off going to the healer. She took a few steps finding each one to be increasingly difficult as the room began to spin. She reached out for anything she could grasp to steady herself.  This allowed her to only knock a few things off a shelf on her bookcase before she crashed to the ground. The world fading to black around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly ram killing the moment.
> 
> Next chapter is an angry Solas, and him making up his mind on her.


	4. Surprises, she is full of them.

It was late afternoon, and no one knew where she was, all he knew is she was home and hadn't been to see him. Solas paced his circular room running his fingers over a panel of his painted story. His gray eyes longingly staring at the door, as if he wished hard enough she would walk through it. He stepped out of the door way, seeing Sera sitting with Varric both looking stoic at best. He held the door waiting to hear what Varric was saying before letting it swing close.

" By Andraste's tits, I didn't even see her get hit." He sighed, he knew the inquisitor was stubborn but this was a new height even for her.

Sera's response came as a soft sound, almost a whimper. "Inky." she looked down, she was angry at herself. She hadn't seen it either, no one had. Varric sighed as he looked up at Solas. "We don't have answers yet as to what happened. But Ruffles sent a servant up to check on her, when she didn't show to the War table." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "She was found on the stone, a fever has a hold of her something bad. Dorian is up there with the surgeon. " he looked up to Sera who looked just as troubled. Both expected Solas to run to her side, and were taken back when he ran out the door to the courtyard, Cassandra sighed as she watched him disappear into Cullen's tower.

Solas could feel the anger building in him. "You!." He snapped. "This is your fault." He yelled to the commander, who sat behind his desk his hand running through his hair. He said nothing to stop the elfs words, and it was clear by the look on his face he felt they were just as true as Solas did. "You all throw her into your problems. Begging her to fix them so you don't have to. You were there, why didn't you protect her?"

Cullen stood abruptly, it shook his desk. "You think I want to see her like this? " His voice was just as angry. "She said nothing, she got ahead of us. I don't know when she got hit, and if I had known do you honestly think I wouldn't have made her have a healer look at it?"

Solas felt his hands start to clench. "You brought no mage, you must have been behind that choice! " he felt himself moving closer to the other man, they now stood just inches from each other.

The tension was thick, both tempers burned high with angry and worry. It was then Cole appeared, his voice snapping them both to attention. "she makes no sense. Two names on her lips, body burning but can't get warm. Begging old gods, any god that will listen to not take her. She isn't done, but wants it all to stop. Shoulders so heavy, mind so full she is left alone with just her thoughts. They scare her, like distant memories that shaped her."

 

Neither Solas nor Cullen had to ask who it was he was talking about, they knew he was just as worried as they were. It was Cullen who spoke,"Look us fighting isn't going to help her. She would want to see you." he said with a slight hint of pain behind his words. He knew she had chosen Solas. It pulled at his heart, but didn't make him care for her less. He wanted to protect her and make things right.

 

Solas left Cullens tower and quickly made his way to the inquisitors tower. He opened the door slowly as he made his way up the stairs freezing at what he saw. Dorian held her down, one had on her shoulder the other on her hip, as the surgeon moved from the fire with a hot arrow. The skin had healed around the infection, he had to look away as he what she would do.

 

Dorian whispered softly. "This is going to help, I promise." He was trying to comfort both himself and Traya. He felt her body jerk under his hands as the infection was drained from her body, it was then that he watched the surgeon pull a piece of metal from the reopened wound. It was tiny, like a shard of glass, but it was clear to him it was the tip of a sword. He held her still as the wound was packed with spider webs. He looked over his shoulder to Solas and simply nodded to let him know it was over. "maybe you can talk some sense into her when she wakes up. " He sighed as he pulled her shirt back down on that side covering the bandages. "She just needs to fight off the infection now. I am sure you know that as well as I. It is good she made it home when she did."

 

Solas waited for the other two to leave before he sat on the floor next to her bed, he wouldn't leave her side until he knew she was okay. He ran his fingers over the top of her hand, the skin was soft and warm under his touch, it was then he remember what Cole had said. He covered her with thick blankets before placing a cool rag on her forehead. Her skin was pale, her face flushed. Today would be the worst of it. He traced his fingers over the swell of her cheek, she was the only thing in this world he enjoyed more outside of the fade than in. He moved his finger tips over her vallaslin, he wondered how much pain that caused. It was raised slightly, not that you could see under the color. He wanted to set her free.

 

She fought hard, for three days before the fever broke. Solas never left her side running his fingers over her lips with water to try and keep them from bleeding, keeping her fire going, and a watchful eye on her. He slept in the her chair behind her desk having step away for a moment. He had tea cups setting on her desk, he had tried to stay awake. She smiled when she saw him, she was home. She slowly swung her legs over her bed, moving silently she stepped behind a closed door, she quickly washed up and changed her clothes before moving slowly across the room. She slipped a blanket around his shoulders before moving to the stairs, she heard him stir and then call her name. Her name not inquisitor it made her go week in the knees. 

 

Solas called out softly. "Trayalyn, " he stumbled over the words in his head, then saw her smile. "how are you feeling?" He finally settled on.

 

Her smile was bright, her skin still pale but lacking the flush of fever."I'm fine, hungry but fine. " She sounded almost sing song. She then disappeared out the door, he smiled as he cleaned her desk back up." I'll see you soon I promise."  was called through the door.

 

After a few hours, she came to find him they moved back to her room. She stood on the balcony. She blushed as he complemented her, they had spent some time talking about her. She stepped closer to him, he hadn't forgotten. They were but a few inches apart, she found herself looking up into his eyes. A soft smile on her face, the wind blew around them. He stepped away, before she could stop herself she reached her hand out and grabbed him by the arm. "Don't go." His words spun in her head. _It would be kinder, in the long run. But loosing you would._

 

She felt his arms wrap around her drawing her into him, she fit just as perfectly against him as she had in the fade. She felt warm and soft against him, one had rested on the small of her back, his other moving to cup her face. Her eyes shown with vulnerability, something he didn't seen in them often. He felt the possessive urge taking over him. His lips found hers thick with passion. His lips were soft at first, the pressure building as he felt her arms wrap around him in return. Her fingers clutching at his shirt, her lips parting. His tongue found hers, it danced slowly. He took in every feeling he could. Her body against his, the way she softly shook as if being close to him, was enough to drive her into his arms. The need that rose in her own movements against his. 

 

Her mind screamed yes, as her body mirrored the notion. She had never felt this way before, she wondered if he felt the same. He slowly pulled away his voice breathy. "ar larth ma vhenan" was all he said as he walked away.

 

She stood in stunned silence, had he really said that. She felt her knees grow weak, then she grew angry she had stayed quiet. She took a deep breath. 

 

For the next few weeks she was all smiles. The others had ordered her to stay around skyhold and work on some of the missions the others could do. She had to get ready for the ball. She spent a lot of time with Josie, Dorian, and Viviene she was learning everything she would need to know. They all went to Val Royal together, the boys in one room the girls in the other. Cassandra growled as she deiced to leave with the boys. She looked to Dorian, Cullen and Solas. "Lets go the others will meet us there." She was in the same finer wear as them. The inquisitions finest, their dress uniforms.

 

 

Traya smiled as she pulled out her dress uniform, it would be her first time wearing it or well so she thought. It was then she saw the smile on Viviene's lips. "Oh my dear, you don't think we would let you wear that do you ?" Traya felt her breath catch in her throat. She was frightened a bit. "I had my tailor make you something."

 

It took both Viviene and Josie to get her into the dress, it took a bit of time. They started with under clothes, that went on after small clothes. It was silk with dragon boning. They tightened it slowly giving her more of a curve, not that she didn't have it but now it was exaggerated. She took a breath in as Josie pulled the string that held up her hair. "This I can work with." She said softly, they lifted the silk dress over Traya's head and it fit her perfectly. It was another hour before they finished with her hair and makeup. Both girls smiled.

 Traya listened carefully as Josie then told her to go in, she had been announced. Though her dress must have weighed five pounds, she felt naked. She stepped into the center. She swore she heard the entire room breath in. Both Cullen and Solas drank her in, she looked surprisingly feminine more then she ever had. Her hair feel in intricate curls down to just past her shoulders,  beautiful orchids pinned into places they mirrored the dress blues and purples. The inquisitor put her thin hand in the Dukes. Solas looked from her hand up her arm, it was bear to just under the shoulder were it clung nicely, her collar bone and shoulders were pale and exposed, her breast, that had been pushed up by the boning fit the dress perfectly. They were normally hidden by thick leather, or armor. His eyes trailed over her hips where the dress then flared out a delicate patter could be barely seen as it was embroidered with silver.

As she took a step she wore both a dancing shoe and a dalish formal foot wear. It was made of a silver and a fine blue stone it went around one of her toes, draped over the top of her foot and around her ankle. She wore something similar on her right hand. She moved with the duke gracefully, this must have been what she had been practicing. She slowly moved up the stairs, it was Dorian who got to her first. "You clean up nicely my dear." She just smiled, she refused to show how uncomfortable she was. She whispered something to him he nodded and disappeared to where Sera was waiting for him. They were on recon, as she couldn't go and get her dress bloody.

 

She would talk to everyone. Slowly and careful with her words, she slowly earned approval. It was Cullen next with a smile she bowed to him. "You look good in your uniform Commander."

He smiled and bowed to her. "Not as well as you Inquisitor." He took in every inch of her, wishing he could see her more often like this. Out of armor and ready to have some fun. She fluttered from person to person like a butterfly. Stopping as random member of the inquisition informed her of things they found. She was making up her mind as what would be done.

She was searching for Solas, then she saw him in a side hallway. He didn't move towards her, he knew if he did now he wouldn't move away again. He was sure there was still more to be done. "Anything interesting?" she asked hanging on his words. His voice always calmed her. She nodded as she took everything in. After a few more hour and the approval of the court she had saved the empress and ended the civil war. She leaned against the railing looking over the garden. She was beyond exhausted, shem politics were much harder then she expected. 

 

Solas found her, he always found her. He looked at her, he could see the effect the evening had on her. "Dance with me?"

 

She danced with him, she moved gracefully following his lead. She wanted to ask where he had learned to dance but figured it was the fade. That seamed to be his answer for everything. She found herself resting her head against his shoulder. He felt the slink under his hands, as he moved with her, wishing it was her skin he felt. He fought back the urge to take her into the ball room and show the world that she was his. What a fuss that would make, the inquisitor and an elven apostate. But he knew better, they had to set the world right first.

It was late, and they all made their way back to the rooms Josie had gotten for them. All expect Traya. She smiled as she sent Sera ahead. "I just want to go for a walk. The air feels so nice." She moved through the city gracefully, taking in all the sights once more. The moon was high in the sky before she made her way back to their rooms. She was in the living quarters between both bed chambers when she realized she couldn't get out of her dress herself. 

 

She sighed as she then felt warm breath on her neck, he had been waiting for her. A smile spread on her lips as a shudder took over her body.His voice was that breathy whisper that she had grown to love, then he used when they spoke of private things. "Do you need help  _ma vhenan?"_ She could only nodded as she didn't trust her voice, or what she would answer. He moved his fingers to the fasteners of her dress. A soft shutter moved through her as his finger brushed against her skin as he slowly undid each one. HE never moved away from her, each breath caressing her neck, her head titled a bit as a whimper escaped her lips. It was soft and delicate.

 

His fingers found the corset they had put her in. He nearly growled as he pulled at the strings feeling it loosen. He got a satisfied smirk, as he felt her move so her arms held up the front of her dress. He waited to see if she told him to stop. When she didn't he let the corset drop to the floor her dress still up. Even in the light of the fire he saw it, something she hid well. His finger brushed over a thick scar, that was covered in vallaslin. "What is this?" He asked his lips against her neck before kissing it softly as if hoping it would help get her to answer.

 

"the great tree." She said not going into details of how she got it, nor that after it had healed she had a first turn it into a second vallaslin as a sign of overcoming it all. Her voice was shake as she felt his fingers brush over more of the scar."It covers from my hip to well just below the cut of my dress." she said softly. He had to see it, in all its entirety. But not here, not like this. He nipped at her shoulder softly, smiling as she quickly covered her mouth with both hands to keep from moaning.

 

Solas whispered into her ear, "go to sleep my heart, I will meet you there." She whimpered in protest. She didn't want him to stop touching her. To stop making her feel alive. As if he knew what she was thinking. "I promise you, I will make it worth it." She nodded, as he disappeared into his room. Leaving her to pick up the corset and vanish into her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter proves to be interesting, as it will take off with them meeting once again in her dreams.


	5. Moonlinght, magic and a moment of becoming one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas wants to show the inquisitor just how perfect he finds her. He is hoping the fade can be enough for the both of them. For he knows in the end what he must do. But it kills him to not be by her side.

Traya glanced around the room, her eyes wide with wonder. Was tonight real? By the fade was any of this real, sometimes she wondered if she had made it out of the fade. She couldn't only hope life was true to her. She let her dress fall to the ground in a dark corner, she pulled on her normal sleeping clothes a pair of pants and a shirt. She found herself with a wonder and a mischievous plot for once they made it back to skyhold.

She looked at the large bed they had left for her and shook her head. She sighed, knowing the look she would get if she didn't sleep in it. She slid into the blankets, wondering how long sleep would fight her for. The excitement burning in her body, wishing it didn't have to be in the fade. Sleep came easier then she expected it too. The dream was quick to form, she saw him across a clearing, she ran to him. She reveled at the feel of the grass on her bare feet, she looked up at him the smile on her lips spreading over her face. Her eyes danced like firelight in the night sky, her arms wrapped around his neck as she leaped at him.

Solas smiled, he caught her. It was their dream, he let her pick the place. He however chose what she would wear. It fit her well, as she moved gracefully through the forest, it was all the colors of the forest in autumn. "my heart." He said softly as she moved to her tip toes she was focused on him. He let his lips brush against her's oh so slowly. It was quick his forehead to hers. He took her in, her soft pale skin shown in the moonlight. The dress had the same shoulders as the one from the ball, but this one clung to her shape. Her curves nothing added. He ran his hands over her sides, down her hips to pull her closer.

She licked her lips softly, not moving her face from just inches in front of his face. "Why here?" She asked.

He smirked. "You tell me, this is your doing." He moved a bit, he thought of an old tune, one he heard a million times in the fade. "Dance with me once more?" He didn't give her a chance to answer. He pulled her body flush to his, letting her feel his heat. He felt her breath hitch for just a moment, as he moved with her in his arms. It was a dance that she had never done, one of passion, lust and love. He spun her softly. "Tell me what you remember of this place. "

She looked around and it slowly came back. "It was my escape,"she shuttered, not the way she did when he let his lips brush her skin. This one was fueled by fear. "Please Solas, don't make me remember." She looked at him her eyes full of need and hurt. "Help me make new memories here."

Solas dipped her softly, his lips finding there way to the center of her neck as she tilted her head back. Her leg lifted to his hip, that was why he had done it. He let his hand move from her hip to her knee, his finger tips brushing against her skin. It sent soft tingles down her leg, he slipped the dress up higher from a slit in the side she didn't remember being there just a moment before.

He moved his hand to the other knee, his fingers wrapped around the knee as he lifted her from the ground with ease. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms resting on his shoulders. He moved to lay her on a patch of mossy ground. He loved the contrast of her wild curls against the deep green of the ground. "let me see the real you." He said softly, as he lifted the silk from her her knees."Not the one you show the world." She thought of something he had said to Cole, _everyone has two faces, one they want the world to see and one they don't._ She remembered thinking she gave the world her all, but this this was for him. Just them.

 

She took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. She watched him as she sat up and lifted up her arms, looking at him with such trust. He knew then this was wrong, he shouldn't be doing this to her. She deserved so much more, but this he needed this as much as she did. No one could take this from them, not even himself. He lifted her dress straight off of her. It was then that he saw it. She winced at the shock in his eyes. The great tree, it was carved into her skin. He saw its roots dig into her hip as if it was fresh soil. The large tree went up to her just below her collar bone, the branches spreed to the center of her sternum and the same place on her back.

 

He looked at it, over it was blood writing there was no denying that, he slowly began tracing the swirls of the bark on her skin. At the base of the tree he saw the dread wolf. What meaning did this have to her. He looked at her curious if she would let him remove her small clothes. She looked to the side as if ashamed, he took a deep breath. "your beautiful." he said softly as he let his lips find a root of the great tree, he felt his heart skip a beat as a moan left her lips.

 

He knew then what she needed, to be soft. To be lead, not to lead. He moved his lips slowly against her skin, letting his warm breath brush over every inch of the tree he could see, as he made his way over her hip he nipped it softly. Sending another sweet sounding moan into the air. He shook lightly, as he fought to hang on to what little control he had left.

His own breath was coming in breathy gasps as he found her lips with his own once more. He had to show her, show her what she meant to him. His kiss was soft at first as it always was. He pulled away and pulled off his tunic. He was muscular for a mage, she let her eyes lock on his. But her hands were free to wander as he lay next to her on the moss. She started at his hips, much the way he had with his mouth. She brushed just her finger tips against his skin, tracing small delicate patters. Over the lines that defined his body, she would let them linger for a few moments longer on each scare carefully memorizing where it was.

She let her fingers trail over his chest and down his arms, again searching for scars, her fingers jumped from his hands back to his hips, she tugged at his leathers. She wanted to see him the way he was seeing her. He stood slowly, hating how as he did he towered over her. But loving the way the sunlight danced over her skin. He wanted to say something, but he felt their were no words left that did this moment justices.

He smirked a bit as he saw her gasp as she learned he was not one for small clothes. He loved how the blush traveled over the lightly freckled skin of her face, and the tips of her ears. He moved to lay back next to her. Her hands moving again to his shoulders, she took a deep breath as she turned to lay on her side. She moved her fingers down his arms, then moving to his fingers. She guided them to slip under the edge of her small clothes.

He slid them down, seeing just how deep the roots ran. His lips found hers, as he pulled her once again to him. This time letting their skin meet. It was his turn to shutter, he slid his hand up her arms his fingers intertwining with hers. Her lips found his, she was getting brave. She slowly and gently tugged on his bottom lip. She was lost in this moment, nothing had ever felt so real.

He moved to carefully roll them over, she followed his lead gracefully. She parted her legs allowing him to find where he belonged. His kisses deepened as her body arched into his, letting his length push gently against her entrance.This was the moment of no return, his eyes locking with hers. Looking or any sign of hesitation, instead they pleaded with him. He could have made her beg if he wanted to.  He was slow and gentle ,his fingers never leaving hers as he held her hands above her head, he let himself slip in. A deep moan leaving his lips as his hips moved to meet hers. She let herself moan and cry out a bit. She fit him like a glove, he had to push his way in to get anywhere. Her hips rose to meet his, her lips found his as she moaned against his lips.

Their bodies tangled in both lips and limbs. It took them a moment to find a rhythm that worked for them both. It left her with her head titled back, his kisses moving over her collar bone as one hand slowly slid down her arm again finding her breast. He caressed her soft skin, she lost the ability to kiss him with any determination . With each thrust, she learned to mirror his movements. Soft moans echoing through the quite forest. It was then that she started to feel something building inside her, she moved her hands from his now. She let her nails trail down his back her body shaking softly in pleasure as it built. She gripped at his shoulders as he built up speed. It was then that he whispered in that voice that drove her crazy. "Trayalyn.." it was enough to send her ever closer to the edge, her body arched hard against his. He followed her lead with a deep hard thrust into just the right spot. It over took her faster then she could realize what was happening, her body jerked against his. Her walls tightening and hungrily pulling him in further. Her voice was a breath cry. "S-solas." Her nails dug into his flesh softly. He crushed his lips against hers as he thrust in again this time with increasing speed before he joined her moaning into her mouth. They both shook as he filled her, glad they were in the fade so it wasn't something he had to worry about. It took them a while to come down from their shared high. They rolled to lay on their sides, she smiled with her eyes half lidded. She buried her face in his neck each breath coming in a pant and brushing against his skin. As she slowly gained the ability to think again she began to kiss at his neck.

He ran his fingers through her hair, a proud smile on his face."Did I make it worth it my heart?" She nodded against his skin as he chuckled. She looked up at him, as she used her fingers to trace patters over his left shoulder. She was trying to think, he could see that.

She broker her silence with carefully thought out words. "I want to wake in your arms, I know tonight we cannot. But, I want that. I want you Solas. Not just in my dreams." He kissed her, she wasn't sure if it was to shut her up or in acknowledgement. He ran his fingers over the flesh of her cheek. They laid there all night, talking , smiling learning about each other. This was the most peaceful night of sleep she had gotten in a long time. She almost hated the idea of waking up. This must be how he felt, when he explored the fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here is my first attempted. I am sure they will get better as chapters go on.


	6. From the outside.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more explicit then the last. It lets you know how some of the companions feel about the relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. What will all the end of the year holidays and my return to work after almost two months off I got a little caught up in getting my life some what back to normal.

Dorian saw the look on Cullen's face as he watched the inquisitor smile at Solas, it was a look that he knew all to well. It was the same look he was sure was on his face at this moment. What a giant shipwreck this entire company was. He shook his head as he walked up to the inquisitor. "I say you travel home with me today. I have some things I need to speak to you about." She nodded a smile that seemed more real then he had seen on her in weeks perched on her lips. "Alright, tell Sera and Bull they are going with us. I have a few things I need to take care of the way home. Nothing like getting business done on your way home." He smirked himself unable to stop himself as Solas looked annoyed, well more so then normal. 

Traya turned her smile to the other elf. "whip that sour look off your face, I promise if anything interesting happens I will call for you." They left shortly after it was then that Sera spoke. "you really want that elfy elf don't you?" Her voice almost sounded sad. "but he is so .....elfy?"

Traya giggled. "Don't worry Sera there will still be time for roof cookies. As for what I want, to be happy." Sera sighed melodramatically as she moved ahead a bit. This all made Dorian's talk harder to have but he knew it must be done. 

"My dear, about that." He started carefully. "I don't think Solas is what he seems. The way he looks at you it just isn't right. I can see he cares but there is something else there. Something dark. Almost like he knows he is going to hurt you but needs you none the less." He watched her look to him in silence. "It is so different from the way Cullen looks at you."

She winced at that. "What would Cullen want with a damaged little elf girl? Be serious for once Dorian. I know what I am and where my place is. This isn't your home land. What would people do to him if he took an elf as a lover? Do you know? " She shuttered, her eyes looked into his. "Please don't take this away from me. I have never had much luck with happiness. I have always had to make my own and I know it is short lived. " The sadness was slowly returning to her eyes and he kicked himself for being foolish enough to bring it up. 

She sighed. "I am going to go hunt you guys set up camp." Her words were cold and almost lifeless. It pained him to hear her sound like that. 

Iron bull put a hand on Dorian's shoulder. "I know your trying to help. But Boss is an odd one. I think she knows he is going to hurt her, and doesn't know what it is like to not live in that fear. But she prays she is wrong. " he sighed. "I know you were trying to help them both. I see the way you look at the commander. If you ever want help forgetting for a night come find me."

Dorian had to blush. "Is that an offer my dear Bull?" At the nodded he found himself growing more red, as Bull's laugh filled the camp.

When Traya returned with her ram, she began to make dinner and smiled again. She never let herself appear sad for too long. The thought of sleep made each day more bearable. As she never knew if it would be a night where he would join her. 

 

The rest of the way back to Skyhold was uneventful. They took out some bandits, helped a few people get back on their feet and just did what needed to be done. When they arrived at skyhold she saw the light in the tower still burning. It was late, she wondered if Cullen had fallen asleep with a lit candle. She bid good night to her friends and made her way up the stairs. She quietly pushed open the door in hopes to just put out the candle as to prevent his desk of papers from causing a fire. She looked around the room it was trashed, books thrown to the floor and a pale looking commander rested against the wall. She sighed as she walked over to him. She slid her arm under his shoulders slowly helping him up. She took in the muscles of his chest knowing. Neither one said a word at first. She helped him to the latter knowing it would be difficult but some how he got up to his bed. She laid him down and sat on the edge of his bed. "are you okay?" her voice was soft and full or worry as she brushed one of his blond curls out of his face. She let her fingers linger their for just a brief moment.

His voice was rough and pained. "the dreams keep haunting me." She sighed and moved and placed his head in her lap, she began to hum a soft tune. "let me see if I can help." she sat their with him for hours, when the humming didn't work she resorted to stories. Her voice was always soft and soothing. After a while he finally drifted to sleep. She slowly slid from under his head and began to straighten his office. She hated to see him in pain, and began to think of ways she could help him. She would write to her brother, as a first maybe he would know. 

 

She moved across from the tower, into Solas room. She looked around but was saddened when she didn't find him there. She hadn't seen him sense the night of the ball. Either in person or in the fade. Did he regret that moment. She sighed as she made her way to her own room. She jumped when she opened the door and he was waiting for her. He too had seen the way Cullen had looked at her, with longing. It stirred something in him, something primal. He quickly shut the door behind her turning the lock he thrust himself against her pinning her to the door with a passionate kiss. 

She threw her arms around his neck, her eyes dancing int he moonlight as she moaned into his mouth. This time it was just them no need to be quite as her room was hidden away from everyone else. She felt her body arch against his, her own excitement growing. He pulled away and spoke in that hushed tone that drove her insane. "How I have missed the my heart." Solas hands slid slowly under the curve of her hips as he pulled each leg around him. He carried her to her large four post bed, that he doubted she used much as he had seen a bed roll hidden in a corner near the largest of her windows. 

He tossed her roughly onto the bed as he grabbed one of her boots hastily unlacing it, he watched her eyes dance like firelight. As soon as her boots were off he gripped at her leathers pulling them slowly off her long elegant legs. He had never been a leg man tell he meet her. He let his fingers slowly slid up the inside of her leg with a smile on his face. Her skin was so soft and warm against his fingertips, and her shutters only fueled him further. "Take it off,"he roughly ordered still in that hushed growl of a tone. She found herself unable to say no. 

Soon she laid on the dark coverings of her bed, in nothing. Her body arched and wishing to feel his. Her mind raced as she watched him undress. She felt herself wondering was this real or had she fallen asleep again. It was then that he spoke again. "I promise you this is real. Tonight it is just you and I and the moonlight." She then noticed the moon was full and just how cold the air felt on her skin. He too was well built from fighting but not nearly as broad as Cullen had been. She felt less tiny around Solas, she let her eyes wander down his chest, as he climbed onto the bed with her. She felt the blush growing in her face as her eyes once again, found his manhood. She shuttered as a slight moan escaped her lips.

Before she knew it he was above her, he let his skin press tight to hers. Her small perky breast found his warm skin a welcome relief from the cold. She slid her fingers over his shoulders as she felt him press against her opening. Her breath hitched in her throat, as her head tilted back. Solas was loosing control and he knew it, but he had to have her. Had to make her his. Even if only for the night.

He thrust himself deep into her, as she yipped a bit, and he cursed himself. He hadn't meant to be that rough. His lips found hers kissing them softly in apologies and then tugging softly on her bottom lip. He then felt her thrust her hips to meet his, pushing him further into her. She fit perfectly, like a glove. This was one time he really felt that reality won over the fade. One had moved to her hair, as he pulled on it tell she tilted her head further back and he planted kisses on her neck, with each thrust their moans grew. 

Both were learning what the other enjoyed, her nails dug lightly into his shoulders as her body arched and began to shake softly against his. He knew he would have her soon, but he wanted to draw it out. Each thrust was planned to just brush against the spot that caused her to moan the loudest, he bring her to the edge then slow down. It was then that she surprised him her hands slid down his sides to his hips as she pulled him the roughly to her own plunging him in deeper. He called out her name, as he learned he had been torturing them both and that was all it took to bring him over the edge and take her with him. He felt her tense around him, as she cried out and shook. He thought of how he should have been more careful the last thing they needed was her to fall with child while fighting for the world. 

"Solas.."her voice was breathy and light as she panted against him. He knew then what was done was done, and they needed each other. There was no denying it anymore. He carefully moved to lay next to her, pulling her close as she rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead and whispered words of love into her ears. She slowly drifted to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will deal with the time in the fade and when solas turns her away. Where as things will start to get even more interesting.


End file.
